Rattle Me Silly
by ghostleaf
Summary: Humor-based fic about Kagome and her reaction to her highschool life being rudely interrupted by the new brothers in town. (fixed paragaph problems.)


WHEE! I don't own InuYasha and Co. Have a happy happy happy happy happy happy day.  
  
Rattle Me Silly  
  
Chapter One: Little Miss Morning Sunshine  
  
As my alarm rattled itself to the Holy Trinity in my ear, I lost grasp of those last elusive grains of my dream. I opened my eyes slowly and proceeded to give my nightstand and the loud offender a good glare. Stifling a groan, I slapped the 'off' button.  
  
Somewhere between lurching out of bed and getting dressed (everything's in a haze between wakey time and noon - lack of sleep), I tripped over the cat.  
  
"Buyo--!" I let loose a small scream of sleepy frustration (say THAT five times fast) and hit my fists against the floor. "Souta! Get that... thing outta my room!"  
  
Said thing meowed with that scratchy motorcycle voice of his and rolled into my ankles as I slapped a neon pink band-aid (there weren't any other colors - believe me, I checked) onto my forehead. As I yanked my brush through my hair Souta meandered in with a Pop Tart wedged in those chipmunk cheeks of his. He hoisted Buyo (not without some effort; I've taken to thinking that Buyo is truly a large tub of lard merely impersonating the cute little kitten Grandpa bought four years ago) and eyed my band-aid peevishly.  
  
"Say a word and Mom'll scrape you off the wall with a spatula," I growled at him.  
  
He grinned and sauntered out of the room, making sure I get a good view of his chewed-up Pop Tart before he left to terrorize the rest of the neighborhood.  
  
I glanced at the clock and had something like a panic attack... except without something stupid like falling over or not breathing. I sent a few cursory words towards His mightiness and hoisted my socks on while hopping down the stairs.  
  
Mom was levering a fifth or sixth pancake onto 'my' plate as I threw myself into the kitchen. My grandpa was sipping his coffee leisurely, but he got one of those ominous glints in his eye as he eyed my procession towards the table.  
  
"Mom, where's my lunch and oh dear God am I expected to eat all of that?!"  
  
"Pancakes are good for you!" she chirruped as she handed me my brown bag (marked "Kagome" in clear, black marker; I presume this is either in case a) I forget or b) I lose it, in which case it can be returned to me). "Now, eat up!"  
  
"Look what I found in today's horoscope!" Grandpa wailed in horror, flailing a piece of newspaper into my face. I deftly moved about it and managed to fork a chunk of pancake. "Big changes in your future! Biiiiiiiig changes!" This was followed by him actually whapping me in the face with the damned paper clipping.  
  
"Mom, did grandpa COME with a straitjacket or are we supposed to improvise?"  
  
"Be respectful to your grandfather, dear," she said absently, not even sparing the table a glance as she bustled about the kitchen.  
  
Grandpa took this opportunity to stick his tongue out at me.  
  
I yoinked his newspaper clipping and stuffed it in my mouth, then chewed as noisily and obnoxiously as humanly possible.  
  
"O-o-oi! That's MY clipping!" He grabbed the small end still out of my mouth and tugged. This resulted in a brief tug-o-war and an even briefer scuffle (both of which I won).  
  
"Now, now, grandpa, you know Kagome's not a morning person," Mom intercepted us smoothly and disposed of the soggy clipping (how she got it out of my mouth I'll never know). "Kagome, eat your pancakes."  
  
Ooommmfff. I poked at my stomach obstinately. I'm never eating pancakes again. As of now, I'm on a strict lettuce-and-carrots diet. Like a rabbit. Rabbits are nice and skinny.  
  
They also don't live very long.  
  
I was on my way to school (I'm a good little girl), peppy as ever in my school uniform. Is it a crime to wear short skirts? Not in Japan. We're special people. Beware the power of nanotechnology and expensive video games! Bewarrrreeee! But hey, I didn't design the school uniform. Considering the gym outfits, I'd have to say the designs were first drafted by a man. Or at least by a modest, God-fearing, respectable woman... in which case they were later ALTERED by a man.  
  
"Kagome!" came a squeal from my immediate left. From the high-pitched beginning and the upward-ending fluctuation of the voice, I'd have to say:  
  
"Yuki!" I replied in a similar squeal.  
  
"Wow, I love that band-aid! Are you making a fashion statement? I'll wear a band-aid tomorrow, too! Oh my God! Have you seen Hojo lately? He's got this younger girl sniffing around him! Aren't you going to stake your territory?" Woah. Rapid fire.  
  
I shake the daze from myself. "What territory? This chick gonna make off with my lunch or something?"  
  
Yuki looked particularly pained from my attempt at a joke. She takes everything I say seriously; obviously mortal humor is only for certain people. "I mean HOJO. Are you going to let that girl snag him from you?"  
  
I took a split second to think this over. Then, shrugging, I flipped my backpack over one shoulder and started off towards the main building.  
  
She pattered after me in that persistent way only a fifteen-year old girl can accomplish. "You mean you don't CARE? Is there another man you're not telling me about?"  
  
"Good God, no, Yuki." Another man? The only males in my life are Grandpa and Souta.  
  
Moriko popped up out of virtually nowhere (how do they DO that?!) and smiled cheerfully at us. She's a morning person. Gets good grades. Will go to heaven. And she'll probably send me a postcard while she's up there. "What's up, you guys?"  
  
"Kagome's got a secret boyfriend!" Yuki blurted, pouting.  
  
"No, I don't!"  
  
Moriko accepted this with wide eyes, then pounced. "Tell me everything, Kagome! Is he handsome? Is he ... Oh! Is he an OLDER man?! This is so exciting! When do we get to meet him, Kagome? ... Say, nice band-aid."  
  
"There is no 'man!' And thank you. I picked it out myself."  
  
Tanari flounced up. "Kagome, this eighth grader - is that band-aid new? I love the look! - is trying to steal away your Hojo!"  
  
"She's got an older man she's secretly dating!" Moriko whispered confidentially. "And she won't let us meet him!" Yuki added.  
  
Behold, the power of gossip. It hasn't gone five feet from me and already it's too large for me to handle. I felt my eye start twitching. "That's it, guys, I'm going to class," I said carelessly, then hightailed it out of there before they started asking how far me and my imaginary older man have gone.  
  
Math class. Why? WHY was Math scheduled before lunch? Don't they realize that the average person can't withstand such idiocy on an empty stomach?  
  
During a lull in classtime, Hojo approached me with a troubled expression. I had managed to avoid him during first period, I didn't have him second, but now that it was third, I was pinned.  
  
"Kagome, is it true that you're dating a tall, handsome, twenty-year old rock star/actor?" he asked. He looked ready to fall apart at any confirmation I'd give him.  
  
Okay. I can't help it. I pity Hojo. He's such a happy person, and here he is, liking the one person who doesn't like him back. "Of course not, Hojo. I'm not dating anyone." Here we go. I guess I should schedule a movie into next Saturday right now.  
  
He looked absolutely shocked, like a kid who just got a bike for Christmas. "Wow! That's great! Can we see a movie together next Saturday?"  
  
Can I read this guy or what? "Saturday as in five days from now Saturday?"  
  
This momentarily confused him. Not the brightest bulb... but he's a good guy. He gets good grades, too. I don't know how he does it. "Well, yeah."  
  
"Oh. Okay. Sure. Movie sounds good." I mentally wince. Why me? Why?  
  
"By the way, I like that band-aid."  
  
Lunch! My favorite subject. I dove into the relative safety of my group's table (the outside lunchroom roaring with hunters and beasts!) and shoveled through my lunchbag. Yuki, Moriko, Tanari, Miroku, Sango, Kouga, and Hiten surrounded me.  
  
Hiten, resident 'outsider,' had his arm around Yuki possessively. Yuki was positively glowing under the special treatment. Miroku, judging from the slap Sango gave him, had his hand where it didn't belong. Kouga, per usual, was edging closer to me on the bench.  
  
I had half of my sandwich in my mouth before I realized there was a new face. It was raising its eyebrow at my packrat cheeks. A cute, long-white- haired kid sat on the other side of Miroku as Sango. I swallowed and returned his look with a raised eyebrow of my own (knowing me, there was some sort of condiment on my chin, marring the image). "What?"  
  
He shrugged nonchalantly and bit into his own sandwich, although his eyes never left my band-aid, I noticed.  
  
"Sorry, Kagome, this is InuYasha! He's new! So's his brother," Miroku supplied, grinning. "Nice band-aid. Trip on Buyo today?"  
  
"Fantastic and maybe," I grumped absently while I plowed through my sandwich.  
  
Kouga was creeping his hand around my shoulder (thinking I wouldn't bloody well NOTICE), but at the last second lowered it to my waist. Closing my eyes and focusing on my chewing, I pressed my palm flat on his chest and –  
  
Heaved. When he was done collecting himself off the floor, Miroku swallowed and pointed behind me excitedly. "Lookie, there's Inu's brother."  
  
I tilted my head back to get a good look at this fabled being. He had silvery, long hair and amber eyes like InuYasha. I swallowed my sandwich and gave him a little finger-wave. "Howdy."  
  
He raised an eyebrow (what is WITH this family and their facial expressions?!) and slid into Kouga's seat smoothly. "Indeed."  
  
Pleh. Fine, ya jerk. I ignored him easily and tore through my lunch with a speed and desperation that made a starving hyena look like a toaster.  
  
Both of the brothers were staring at me the entire time. The rest of the group, used to my food-time antics, where getting on with their lives like NORMAL people.  
  
I finished my apple and glared at the two of them. "WHAT?"  
  
The one named InuYasha seemed to have found a suitable reply this time. "Never seen a chick who made faster work of her lunch than a garbage disposal, is all."  
  
"Funny, never seen a guy with such a serious Oedipus complex. Guess we can cross those off our list, ne? What's WITH your guys' freaky haircuts, anyway? They broke you in the army, didn't they?"  
  
"Oedi-what? And what's with the band-aid?"  
  
"Oedipus," interrupted his brother easily, then sipped some bottled water (probably imported). "It means that you have a sexual/romantic feeling for your mother."  
  
I glared at the mentioning of my band-aid. Enough with the bloody band-aid, already. "I tripped over my cat."  
  
InuYasha turned purple, then upturned his lunch tray and pointed at me. "You take that back!"  
  
I dug into a cupcake and regarded him through a half-lidded gaze. "Okay, I didn't trip over my cat." You sure meet some characters in high school.  
  
"No! That Oedi-thing!"  
  
"He was a very famous Greek myth, you know," I reassured him, making a quick work of Yuki's lunch. She wasn't eating it, anyway.  
  
He actually looked FLATTERED. Shows what this guy has for brains. "Really?"  
  
His brother rolled his eyes, the most emotional thing I'd seen him do since sitting down. "He killed his father and married his MOTHER, you godforsaken moron," he said, measuring out each syllable carefully.  
  
This took a few seconds to compute. Finally InuYasha turned to me. "...That's it. Take it back."  
  
"You need a writer or something. Or at least a Thesaurus," I muttered, then sipped out of my juice box and scowled at InuYasha's brother. "I wish you'd stop that..." I didn't have a name to supply, so I said grumpily, "YOU." Heh heh. I managed to put tons of contempt into that one, and I for one felt particularly proud.  
  
"The name is Sesshoumaru. And InuYasha needs to be properly educated at some point in his life." He ate with a grace that only some sort of divinity could accomplish. ...And he was a whole lot prettier than any other girl in school. It sure feels weird to be jealous of a guy.  
  
"What an angel you are," I groused, then stood to toss my empty carcass of a bag into the garbage. "Yuki, I'm going to the Student Rec Room," I called over my shoulder as I exited the cafeteria.  
  
I was joined two steps out of the lunchroom by none other than Mr. Oedipus.  
  
"You didn't take it back!" he said accusingly.  
  
"Hunh. Guess not."  
  
"Take it back!"  
  
"Oh, shove it, you sl--"  
  
"Kagome!" A voice yelled from somewhere behind us. InuYasha and I turned in unison to greet the great and wonderful, master-of-showing-up-when-you- least-want-him: Hojo! "I'm sorry to do this to you, but do you think we can go on a date on Friday instead of Saturday? There aren't any good movies then, but we can go eat dinner and stuff! My uncle is the owner of a nice restaurant downtown."  
  
I tried putting some sort of enthusiasm into my voice. It didn't work. "Sure, yeah."  
  
"Great! Pick you up at seven!" And with a whoosh of his proverbial cape, he was gone.  
  
InuYasha had surveyed the scene with a bored look. "No idea what that poor sap sees in someone like you."  
  
"Me neither. Maybe he'll tell me sometime."  
  
"In the meantime, you can take it back and apologize."  
  
"You'll never tire of this, will you?"  
  
"At least I don't have the attention span of a gnat," he grumped, crossing his arms and glaring at a nearby building.  
  
"Of course not. The gnat's brain greatly rivals yours."  
  
"Wh-- TAKE THAT BACK!"  
  
I turned into the Rec Room. "You're like a broken record."  
  
"A broken record that DOESN'T trip over its pets," he called sweetly after me as he lagged behind to look at something on the wall.  
  
"He shouldn't bloody well be lying on MY floor!"  
  
"Oh! YOUR floor! That clears things up!" He caught up with me and walked along side me, and, if the Fates didn't hate me enough, didn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.  
  
I ducked a ping pong ball. "Will you leave me alone?!"  
  
"Take it back!"  
  
The Greek pantheon had NOTHING on highschool.  
  
TO BE CONTINUEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDD! DUN DUN DUN! I don't know, not much of a start! O.O I usually have NINE PAGES at the beginnings! Eee, well, what do you guys think? Cheekcheek cha-boom! Happy reading! 


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